So Sick of Being So Sick

Well, if we all survive this winter season, it just might be a miracle. We have passed one illness after another around since before Christmas. I was doing fairly well until about a month ago and I have now lost track of what I or anyone else has had in the house. I got mastitis twice in the past three weeks (largely due to Emmett being sick and not nursing well) and am so run down that I fear my immune system has no fight left in it. I currently am recovering from a terrible cold. It has become ridiculous and I am at my wits end!

We have missed many days with our homeschool co-op and had to cancel most plans for visiting with friends. I have only been to church here maybe four times. The rest I have been home with someone sick or been sick myself. I am so ready for some normalcy and good health! And some sleep! I can't help but feel envious of Josh or the rest of the family who can just go to bed all day when they aren't well. I don't have that option during the day or the night. Have I ever mentioned that Emmett is NOT a good sleeper? He is unpredictable for naps and at night. Sometimes he will sleep till 5 am or, like last night, he wakes up at midnight and then every 90 minutes after that. He doesn't usually fall asleep until after 10 at night. It has gotten old. I have tried to let him cry it out a few times but the kid will cry for hours!!! He doesn't give up! And then I feel like the worst mom alive for it. I bet Josh doesn't appreciate it either. It's so frustrating as my other kids were trained early on to be good sleepers, at least during the day. I knew he would be harder because I chose to hold him all last summer and not train him to sleep in his bed and I wouldn't change that for anything. And from 2-4 months, he did sleep all night! It was amazing! However, now I am exhausted and not sure how to fix the mess we are in. I fear I will not be staying well anytime soon until I can get some real solid rest.

Anyway, even while sick, life waits for no one! This past Tuesday, Aidan received many awards at his Scout banquet. Most importantly, he was awarded with his Arrow of Light. Aidan worked very hard to earn this. It's the highest award in the Cub Scout program. He crossed the bridge into Boy Scouts and we are very proud of him. He had a birthday a couple of weeks ago and is now 11.

Lexi is doing an online program for her schooling as well as her assignments as part of her Scholars class in our co-op. She is such a good kid and huge help! She turned 14 last month. I can hardly believe it.

Brooklyn had her fourth birthday this past week. She and I went to lunch and then shopping. We were both ready for a nap before we even got to the restaurant though. In fact, she fell asleep on the way there and when I woke her up to go in she said, "Are you kidding me?!" She is so funny! Pretty naughty too but it seems to be getting a tiny bit better. I was noticing that she was looking more grown up and rather different and then realized she has finally lost those chubby cheeks. Sooo sad!

Ellie is just Ellie. If you know her personally, you know what I mean. She is calm and sweet and very, very quiet. She is becoming such a good helper to me with Emmett and the little girls. She 'schools' them (with homemade worksheets :) and gets a little irritated if I mess with her teaching schedule. She is doing well in school and is, by far, my best early speller! She loves to have me give her spelling tests!

Addison, finally (!), decided she is ready to learn how to read. Now that she is ready, it is going very quickly and she is improving leaps and bounds! I had read about this but not experienced it with my three other readers. There are just some kids who need more time and she is one of them.

Emmett, oh my little Emmett! Aside from the sleep issue, he is a joy! He prefers me and doesn't like to be apart from me for very long. If he isn't right by me, he tracks me with his eyes wherever I am. When I make eye contact with him he gives me a big smile! His huge, whole faced, smiles are the thing I am most likely to remember about him. He just got his seventh tooth and is so stinking cute!!! He has the signature, MacKenzie baby, huge round eyes. I recently pulled out my baby book (my mom was a good mom and actually kept them for all six of us) and he looks a lot like I did as a baby. He desperately needs a haircut. He loves to climb the stairs, and this house has two sets of them, so frequently we have to do a stair check for him. I have yet to remember while at a store to buy gates.

Josh is still driving his big truck and hauling oil. He drives from Fort Collins to Guernsey, Wyoming (usually) once or twice a day. He seems to be working on being content. This is a struggle for him but I know he has committed himself to doing his part to provide consistency and stability for our family. I am extremely grateful!

Later today, we are headed to a neighbors house to pick up fencing so we can begin putting this little farm together. We have like a thousand baby chicks coming the middle of March (ok, so not a thousand. It's 36 but might as well be!) that we are getting ready for. Sixteen of those chicks are broilers that we will be processing in three months. I am nervously excited to do this. I don't look forward to butchering them but I am excited to have the meat. A freezer full of healthy meat is something we got used to in ND and I miss it. Although, the pig we had raised and processed turned out absolutely disgusting! Such a disappointment! The kids are wanting to raise rabbits. I am not sure whether to let them find out how mean and nasty the cute things are or prevent the experience altogether.

I am anxious to begin gardening! Spring is my favorite time of year and I have so many plans to begin. It's a little overwhelming as I don't have the experience and foresight to plan gardens for long term use. I also don't want to bite off more than we can chew, or afford. We have had some trouble deciding the best places to put things as we have a driveway going around the whole house. It's a necessity for the trucks but really cuts things up for laying out a homestead. We have yet to decide where we will build his shop. I have commitment issues, not surprisingly.

We are still waiting to close on our ND house. I am really ready to start painting this house as the peachy walls are annoying but don't want to touch anything until we actually own it. I just want it to feel like it's mine. Sadly, with all the sickness and distraction, I still have a lot to put away and unpack. My house has never been such a wreck. It's embarrassing but there just hasn't been time or energy to change it much. So we maintain the main living areas and I guess I will get to the rest someday. I so badly wish I were a good organizer, cleaner, but I am not. Well, actually, I am a fantastic cleaner but I don't have that kind of time anymore. I am good at other things but struggle with that. And yes, I do involve the kids. We are just all terrible at maintenance. It has been a sad and sickening realization that we are 'that family'. You know what I mean? The stuff everywhere family. What has been interesting is knowing that things do get picked up and cleaned regularly but don't stay that way for even half a day. It has made me feel really bad for the unkind thoughts I had about people and their homes before I had many kids. Boy, do I love eating crow! Yum, yum!!!

Well, I think I have stalled this day out long enough. Instead of complaining about my house, working on it would make a lot more sense, eh? Sorry for the lack of pictures!

I hope you are well!